CONTEST #6
It's back, America! The contest has returned after a long hiatus!! Here we go!!! I promise four (4) exclamation points won't follow this sentence. Your mission, if you agree to partake in it, is to correctly order the following six shows in order of my liking, starting with my favorite. This will be a challenge. You may turn in as many different attempts as you would like, but only one submission will be accepted each day per individual.
Big Brother, Criminal Minds, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, Friends, Seinfeld, Survivor
Since there are 720 possible combinations, I will tell you once you have 4 or 5 correct. Also, random hints may show up on here, but each will only last for a 48 hr span before being deleted.
Good luck, punks.
(Contest #5 no longer available to view due to the secrecy with which it took place)
CONTEST #4 (expired)
Congratulations to Challise, who wins 6 bags of French Onion potato chips. I'm not sure if that's a prize or a punishment, but, oh well, she seems happy with it.
You must learn the phrases at the end of this paragraph by March 13, 2014 and recite them to me while I am seated at the lunch table. The phrases must be memorized; no notes! Winner will receive the remaining bags of chips I have at home from a box of Sun Chips, but be forewarned, they are all French Onion, as I have eaten all the regular, Garden Salsa, and Harvest Cheddar. As always, this contest is open to anyone. Are you in Australia reading this? Hop on a plane and get here. Residing in Greenland? Take a boat to New York, a taxi to Chicago, Amtrak to Malta, and hitchhike to Saco. If you want a couple of bags of chips, do what it takes, people. Oh, and one more thing. When attempting to recite the phrases to me, you must not make any mention of there being a contest. Walk up to me, recite the phrases, and walk away. I will find you later and tell you if you were successful. Remember, just walk away. Here's the phrases:
Ants barely crawl down elephant feet;
Greedy horses ingest jumpy koalas like mad;
Noisy old people quickly race sleds;
Two unruly veterinarians weighed xenophobic young zebras
CONTEST #3!!! (expired)
Let's do this, America! There can be only one winner so go get 'em. Your task is to say "Hello, Mrs. Funk!" to Mrs. Funk exactly seven times during lunch on Thursday, May 23rd. You may not, at any point during the lunch time, tell her why you are doing it. The hello's must be scattered over a five minute period of time, meaning you just can't rattle off seven "Hello, Mrs. Funk!" greetings in a row. Allow at least 30 to 45 seconds between hello's. You need to walk away and come back while waiting out the 30 to 45 seconds. Good luck.
Update: Unfortunately, nobody was successful at winning this contest.
CONTEST ALERT #2 (expired)
It's back! Contest time. The first person (or group) that writes a song about potato chips and performs it for me will win some mini bags of Lay's potato chips and/or Fritos.
Here are the rules:
1) The song may parody another song, but all the lyrics must be written by the performers themselves, no singing a pre-existing song (yes, I'm sure there are many songs out there about potato chips).
2) The performance can only take place on school days between 7:30 am and 7:59 am, lunch, or between 3:30 pm and 4:00 pm.
3) The song need not be memorized, but needs to be at least 20 seconds long.
4) The more impressed I am, the more bags of potato chips I will likely award the winner(s).
5) Contest is open from January 7, 2013 to May 24, 2013, but ends after someone claims the prize or I run out of bags of chips. (Note: the sooner someone claims the prize, the more bags of chips I am likely to still have.)
6) The makers of Lay's potato chips and Fritos are in no way associated with this contest. Not a rule, just something to be aware of.
7) This contest is open to anyone (students, teachers, parents, teachers who are parents, tourists, Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, the Easter Bunny, etc.)
8) Have fun, get creative, and ready yourself for a tasty snack!
Update: Chandler is obsessed with these contests and has claimed victory yet again, this time with the help of Joe. Enjoy your chips, gentlemen, but do not make a mess and make sure your bags find the nearest trash receptacle. (Note: This contest was posted on January 7 and claimed on January 8. Seriously, Chanicorn?)
CONTEST #1 (expired)
The first person that says the following phrase to me will win two, count them, TWO (2) coupons to Wendy's.
"Mr. Nordahl, the Great, Awesome, and Magnificent, I so humbly request that you bequeath upon me the prize of the red-headed, pig-tailed girl."
Here are the rules:
1) The phrase must be quoted exactly.
2) The potential winner is allowed to write the phrase down and read it to me from their notes. This is primarily so that the words "Great, Awesome, and Magnificent" are not accidentally omitted.
3) To win, the phrase can only be uttered while I am in the multipurpose room during lunch. Anyone who tries to claim victory in this contest by saying the winning phrase outside of lunch time will be disqualified and will not have a second chance to win.
4) This contest is open to anyone.
5) Contest runs from August 27, 2012 - May 24, 2013.
6) Coupons expire October 31, 2012.
Update: We have a winner! Actually, we have two. Congratulations to Christian and Chandler who performed a duet to take home the prize. The more people telling me I'm Great, Awesome, and Magnificent the better!
Back to Top